She wishes you would know
that.
“Okay,” started Bryar,
sitting at her desk and looking into her webcam, today rocking a ponytail and
wearing her Islander camisole-style top, matching boy shorts and
Islander-striped knee-length socks, complimented with an assortment of
colourful bracelets, Islander-themed of course. She films a weekly series
online titled “Unpleaseable Fans” to comment both on the Islanders and the
feelings of a fan base that oftentimes is irrational. “I'm the Damsel on the
Island. Let's get started.”
“First things first...the
next person to say 'show me your boobs' gets permabanned from my site, 'K?”
Bryar said, her snark piercing through her usually sweet, calming voice. She
was referring to a time this summer when she commented on the Islanders' moves
wearing nothing but her Islanders bikini. She did it to show off- she knew she
had the body for it, and thought she could provide some fanservice with it- but
she hoped the comments about her body would subside now that people had seen
it, when she was wrong.
“Secondly, to that guy in Arabia,”
her sugary delivery tinged with biting wit, “no, I will not become your tenth
wife, just so you can beat me and make me wear a veil just so I look okay, so
can it with the fake charm, okay?
“Oh...and lastly, no, I don't
have 'shaved beaver disease'...seriously, who makes that stuff up?”
Bryar gave her head a shake,
wondering to herself what kind of idiots she has to put up with.
“On to the topic at hand,”
she said, changing her tone to one of seriousness. “We've got a game tonight,
against the Sabres of all teams. I know, a bunch of you are wetting your pants
right now, but why are you worried?” She shook her hands in frustration and
continued. “We're the Islanders you
idiots! We've won seven of our last ten games against these guys. Helllloo?” She
took a breath, sighed and continued, gesturing wildly. “Yeah, we're up and
down. I didn't think we'd be 10-7 at this time either, but at least we're not
Nashville and wondering where their supposed talent went.” She then continued
with a hint of incredulousness, leaning right into the camera, whispering
slightly. “I heard the Predators hired an alien as their GM...seriously, do
those guys know ANYTHING about what they're doing?”
She took her hair out of her
ponytail and tussled it, shaking her head a little before it fell back into
place. The energetic Bryar loved histrionics, and her videos often featured her
prancing in her chair or even just around the room. She then shook her hands
and clasped them together to get poignant.
“Having said that...that incident,
the other day, with Ryan Getzlaf, Evgeni Malkin and Jacques Fichaud...I’m not
sure what they were thinking, getting drunk and violating the bull over by Wall
Street...and that...thing in Central
Park, whatever it was...” Bryar shook her head and breathed loudly, still not
over a widely-reported incident several days ago. “I might be able to get over
that, because kids are kids...but taking out your Islander jersey and peeing on it? Then setting it alight?”
She then clenched her right fist and banged into her open palm, madly. “I don’t
care how drunk you are, you just do not
do that. I’m glad they’re gone, even if they’re our best players.”
She paused, took a deep
breath and relaxed into her chair. Bryar then clasped her hands together to
emphasize her next point.
“I’m going to say something
that a lot of you are going to disagree with...but Phil Kessel? I know, the
guy’s got mad skills with the puck and can dangle his way out of a phone
booth...I know, I’ve seen it. I still don’t want him to try it every single
time. How many shots are we passing up because this guy, well, doesn’t pass?
Andy McDonald should be the one carrying the puck in...he’s the one with the
best vision, and Alexei Yashin is such a great decoy when he’s on the
ice...Phil needs to trust that his guys are going to get him the puck.” Bryar
skidded her open hand against her palm quickly, emphasizing another point.
“McDonald’s got a laser...he gets it through ALL the time. In fact, I’d like to
see the guy on the points on the power play a lot more...he can really move the
puck and I really believe he’s our best playmaker.
“...and that new second line we have,”
she clapped her hand slightly, “they seem to be on a completely different page.
None of those seem to know how to work together. I’ll give them some time
though- Tobia, Sillinger and Blake are all smart hockey players, so I think
they can figure it out.” Bryar then gestured at the screen. “One hint, though,
Jason...you’re a big player, get in front of the net more. You’re killing our
point men.”
“That’s it for now. Have a
good night.” Bryar then blew a kiss into the camera, waved goodbye with a cute smile and ended the video
session.
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